A Change in Attitude

SO...I came home one afternoon after a very long day.  I'd been volunteering and it was a HOT Saturday afternoon.  I opened up the door & found this.  My two dogs decided to get into the trash.  Not anything that anyone wants to come home to but.....shortly after this happened, something changed in me & how I look at things like this.   

I can't tell you exactly what or exactly why, other than this...  I saw a picture online one day.  It was of an older adult.  The picture exuded pure joy.  

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Something in the picture connected with me in a way I'd never experienced before.  I looked at it & thought, I want that kind of joy in my life every day.  Why don't I have that in my life EVERY day?   Here's why.  I let people & circumstances steal my joy.  I let them drag me down, I focus on the negative instead of moving forward.  I'm 46 years old & I know I will not be here forever.  It's time to just embrace life.  To a adapt, improvise & overcome.  I'm a worrier by nature so this is WORK for me to change my attitude but I am working on it.  I'm trying to roll with whatever life brings me & do my best to minimize the day to day insanity.  

As a full-time working mom, life is full of insanity.  My job is higher stress type of job.  I'm a corporate litigation paralegal.  In the last few years, I did some things to minimize my stress.  I took a job that is literally 7 minutes from my house - 3 miles away after commuting to Kentucky for 5 years (for a job I loved).  My daily commutes alone were incredibly stressful regardless of all I did to mitigate that (like working 7-3 to try to get ahead of rush hour).  My job in KY was stressful but I loved my bosses & my co-workers.   It was a very tough decision to leave that job but it made the most sense to take the job closer to home even if it meant that I would take a cut in pay (which a lot of is made up in the time I gained back, less stress & less gas, wear & tear on my car, etc.).  I have a teenage daughter & there are just not many ways to reduce the stress that brings but I'm doing my best (and praying a lot).  I started running - like, seriously running.  In May, I did my first 1/2 marathon.  Running has become something I love to do, it brings me peace & joy (which is really weird because I always hating running.) 

I spent a few days after seeing that picture of pure joy reflecting on 2017 - on decisions that I made to change my life for the better.  I thought about how we're always changing, evolving and that's a good thing.  So I'm working very hard right now to change my way of thinking, which is not an easy task but I'm up for the challenge.  If I could run a 1/2 marathon at 45, I think I can change my way of thinking to just embrace life -  To find PURE JOY in every day.  

I have read about starting a gratitude journal & think it sounds lovely, except that I don't think I'd actually journal daily.  So instead, I'll try to write down one thing each day in a journal that brought me pure joy. I will be grateful for my life & focus on the positives.  I'll do my best to roll with the negatives.  I'm going to try to do this via my Instagram account.  Follow me @inmylittleworldinoh on Instagram.  

Pray for Me...I Have a Teenager

Pray for Me, I have a Teenager Mug

Yes, that's right.  I have a teenager.  On Wednesday, my youngest & my only daughter turned 13.  Now, this isn't my first rodeo because I have two adult sons.  This IS my first round of the teens with a daughter.  Admittedly, I find it a bit frightening.  Not necessarily because of her but because of the reputation that teen girls have for being vicious to each other.  This is really the biggest issue I worry about.  My daughter is very sensitive.  She always has been.  This is why I've dreaded when the teen years would hit.  I can't even say that so far, we've had any major issues, but I know that at some point, it's likely we will have to deal with some that will not only break her heart, but mine.  I speak from my own personal experiences and pray that she will not have any of the experiences that I had as a teen.  Horrible things said, things that to this day, I cannot forget & carry with me.  The scars of my teen years are pretty well hidden but they are there.  They have had an impact on my self-esteem for years.  So, I arm myself & my daughter with all I can to combat the negativity that can come with being a teenage girl.  I pray for her, for the other girls she goes to school with & their families.  I pray for us, that we will find the right words to handle any such situation that may arise.  I pray that my fear of what's to come doesn't overshadow the amazing growth that occurs during the teen years. 

Teen years are hard for so many reasons.  We went through struggles with teens testing the waters & spreading their wings to find more independence.  It's a rough ride at time but the end result is worth all of the struggle.  It's years of working hard to reinforce all that you've taught them to this point, reminding them of who they are, what's right & what's wrong and watching them grow into a young adult.  Teen years are a lot like watching a caterpillar turn into a butterfly.  They go from gangly, skinny, awkward (both physically & socially) to a more self-assured young adult. 

I thought that I would be very sad when my daughter turned 13.  I'm not.  I'm excited (and scared) for her.  I see her growing into a beautiful young woman, inside & out.  While I worry about her daily social struggles, I remind myself and her that these are small moments in time.  I talk to her every chance I get -  whenever she opens up to me about anything, I listen.  I make suggestions on how to handle things, laugh, cry, hold her, etc.  I work on keeping the lines of communication open.  I want to know what's going on in her world so I can help give her the tools she needs to grow & move forward. 

Recently, I mentioned something in one of my working moms' Facebook groups about struggling with teen girl issues.  Several moms suggested I read Queen Bees and Wannabees.  I'm reading it now and I can tell you that it certainly provides quite a perspective on girls.  I didn't worry much about a lot of these things with my sons.  Boys are indeed quite different from girls so I'm taking all the help I can get to get us all through this next phase of parenting a daughter.    

So, if you have a teenage daughter or an adult daughter, I'd love to hear how you navigated parenting a teenage girl in this world.